Terrance Joseph McCarthy

Terrance (Terry) Joseph McCarthy, who was a compassionate man with a sharp wit, died Jan. 29, 2024, of lung cancer at the age of 69. His wife, Bonnie was with him as he transitioned from life.

Terry was a well-liked employee who is remembered by his friends and colleagues for his willingness to listen, and for his particularly caring attention and compassion he gave his clients as a mental health advocate.  To many of his friends and family he was considered quite a character. One friend wrote to Bonnie, upon hearing of Terry’s passing, “The world will be a lot less fun and cool without Terry.”

Terry was born Feb. 20, 1954, in Buffalo, N.Y., to Elva and Leonard McCarthy. He and his brothers were raised in Levittown, PA.

After graduating from Penn State, and serving in the U.S. Air Force, Terry met Bonnie Red in 1984. They wed Oct. 10, 1986, in Lebanon, Penn.. Both Terry and Bonnie worked in the medical field, much of the time in the mental health area. During this time, Terry and Bonnie shared custody rights for Bonnie's two daughters, Summer and Sharon. 

To maintain contact with the girls, Terry and Bonnie moved to a variety of communities. That started their love for restoration, rehab work and landscaping design. They owned and renovated homes in Liverpool, Lebanon, Memphis. The goal Terry and Bonnie aimed for? To always leave a house better than when they bought it. The couple retired and eventually ended up in Spokane, WA, where they continued to update their new home.

Terry enjoyed traveling with Bonnie and they visited their favorite overseas destination, Amsterdam 4 times between 2001 and 2006. They spent much time traveling around the United States, especially from South Dakota, where Terry spent 4 years guarding our national security in the 1970’s, and then westward.

Another former co-worker who became a lifelong friend wrote: I am so thankful we became friends – not all co-workers do. We are so much alike, but so different! I think that type of balance is what we found in friendship.”

Other colleagues Terry worked with over the years sent thoughtful messages, including this one: “As a mental health advocate, Terry was committed to those we helped, and he brought humor and kindness to the table. Terry was a dear colleague and I enjoyed the time I spent with him.”

Another colleague wrote this: “So much of Terry’s light remains. He touched so many lives, giving hope, understanding, independence and purpose. There are a great many people who have better lives, happier lives, because Terry was on this earth. I was one of the attorneys who regularly worked with Terry. I had great respect for his advocacy and the way he treated all people with kindness and respect. He made such a difference! The humor often saved tense or difficult situations and he helped guide all of us forward. Please know he left a wonderful legacy of better lives.”

His brother, Steve, also remembers Terry’s great sense of humor, as well as the love he engendered.  

He wrote, “Over the years Terry was very giving of his time in helping me move to various locations during my teaching career or just hanging out. For example, helping me move from Lebanon to Catonsville, Maryland, and asking nothing in return, although I remember something about free beer.

Spending time with Terry was always a trip whether watching movies (ie Repo Man, Pee Wee Herman) and listening to his acerbic wit (i.e. Joe Paterno) could be good for a laugh or two.

Although in the last few years we lived miles apart, knowing I could call and discuss whatever with him. Indeed, listening to John (the boys’ other brother) and Terry hold court with their humor and insights is deeply missed.

Last week a cousin of ours sent a sympathy card and part of it read “A brother is someone who gives you lots to remember and to laugh about. I’m grateful for the time we spent together throughout the years.” That seems to sum up my feelings. Terry is home in heaven.”

Terry is survived by his wife, Bonnie; two stepdaughters, Summer Red and Sharon Red; his brother, Steve who lives in Nashville, TN with his wife, Anne; and his sister-in-law, Judy. He was preceded in death by his brother John. 

Bonnie often said despite their very different personalities they made a terrific partnership, because Terry kept her tethered, and she helped Terry fly.